July 19th 2009 at 01.15am (I think) marked the end of my 9 month swelling and the birth of Jaelyn Merlia. That moment i was no longer Marteen Fraser, I was Mum!!!

Labour was the most pain i’ve been through in all my life, not the tattoo on my neck, not breast feeding as someone suggested (big wooss!). After around 18 hours of hold your breath, roll on the floor, cry roughly 3 times pain, my princess was born in the birthing pool, in the birthing centre at Whittington Hospital. With her daddy (trying to force feed me gas & air) and her nana (nervous and unsure how to assist me through my pain) at my side my 6lb 5oz purple bundle floated away from me. I picked her up and held her close just like the midwife said. She also told me to keep her body in the water so she’s kept warm. I however interpreted that as give her an early christening and dunk her back in!!! (eeek sorry Jaejae). None the less we all cried, daddy cut the cord, followed her to be weighed and mummy stayed with me to give me a pat on the back.

Once cleaned up my visitors came in to meet little Jaelyn. Most of which had been with me all day rubbing my back and reassuring me (thanks guys). Once they had gone daddy and I went to sleep in our double bed with our bundle fast asleep in her hospital crib. This was the first day of the rest of my life, she is my life, as long as she’s happy I’m good!!

Fast forward 11 months, a lot and nothing has happened. A lot in a sense of my chaotic personal/love life and nothing in a sense that she still brings me joy and happiness everyday. I wake up to a beautiful smile and slobbery kiss and go to sleep after some bed time snuggles from my favourite person in the whole wide world. It’s just the best feeling when you know you can offer someone a sense of comfort and security all of which i didn’t think i offered to anyone until i had Jaelyn. She learns new things every day and I am only proud to sit back and watch her. No one else can annoy me by throwing food on the floor and make me smile in a split second nor shit (sorry for swearing, it was so bad that i have to use that word) up her clothes to a point where she’s attempting to eat it and I still want to kiss her lips off! (after a few rounds with the wet wipes first of course).

I partly miss the old me. No more get up and go or decide lastminute.com that i want to go out with my girlies. Now it takes an hour or so to leave the house due to food, nappy bags, bottle preps etc or I have to be super organised from the night before. I miss the old me where i had some time to myself, I could lock myself in my room and be alone with my thoughts instead I have someone permanently permanently glued to my hips. I have to give her to my mum and sneak off to get a quick hour or so. I miss my wardrobe space and the space i would have had in my new bedroom, for someone so small she has A LOT of stuff!!

But…I’m happy and looking forward to all our upcoming adventures and I wouldn’t change it for the world!!

This has been my shortened journey from the end of pregnancy to the beginning and never ending motherhood! (does that sentence even make sense??? :-s )

Bye for now xxx