So…basically i need to fix up!

I got locked out of my WordPress again and had no intention of logging back in until…

…my phone chimed whilst I was on my lunch break as I had been sent a message to say my dear friend from secondary school’s website had finally been launched. Naturally i responded with the customary “whoop whoop’ and hopped onto google chrome typed in the url www.bestversionofme.co.uk that led me to her site.

Whilst there, reading her first blog post, I felt like she was talking about me…from how she was feeling to her own personal goals they were all relevant to myself, even though we have both gone through different things in life. The only difference with the two of us was that she is actively doing something about it, whereas I am stuck in thinking and talking about it, putting it in action for a day or two and then forgetting and falling back into laziness…

Dominique (that’s her name) even refers to a blog post I made here years ago where I talk about bettering myself as a person. I have been so crap at keeping it up that I even forgot I wrote it and had to go through my archive to double check…classic Marteen, Nuff talk and No Action!!!

This has to change…

So to start I dug out my plannerism planner, and wrote down this quarters goals…they seem quite insignificant compared to other peoples with only two major things on there. But i need to start small, get my head right then look at the bigger picture. So from those goals I went along and wrote the ones that only relate to October in the October month! *et voila* This months check list…

Now the hard part, its easy to put pen to paper and say “I’m going to do this, I’m going to do that” but now i have to push myself out of the laziness and DO IT! something as easy as declutter for 5 mins a day is a chore when all i want to do is go to bed, or my Black Girls Work Out Too fitness DVD that I know is only 45 mins long is a struggle in the morning because i LOVE my sleep and cherish every last minute i can, but as my cousin says if your eyes can open you have had enough sleep. Luckily my body clock doesn’t let me sleep past 9am so any chance of a real lie in is completely out the window.

So I have pledged to Dominique that I too will join her on the journey to better myself, because its always better with company right? And can I just point out that she shares the same love for Filofaxes, planners and stationery…I’m not the only loser!! 😀

***Sorry this little girl is currently hanging off her bed talking in her sleep…why does she sleep so wild?!?!***

I will do my best to keep you, if anyone reads this, posted too. I know I say it every time, but i find this quite therapeutic writing my thoughts down and getting them out. I must say I defo need church and am now actively on the hunt for a new one, one where i feel comfortable and that the priest/preacher/pastor whatever you decide to call them is talking to me rather than at me. I find I used to attend my old one be bored out of my head and leave not knowing what they spoke about at any one point during the service. I also need to pray more although I’m not even sure I remember how…but it needs to be done as a family, me and my princess. I especially need it because i still find myself getting angry at times with regards to certain people, i just think its 2013 now my year of hell (2012) is over but as people like attention and dragging their feet and drama in their lives shit got dragged into this year too…hopefully 2014 will be better, with a bit of luck i wont have to deal with them again, only when necessary…I feel the power of faith, prayer and God will help me succeed.

I am also actively trying to eradicate all negative people from my life, that includes not involving myself with negative conversations because they do nothing to help me…although the odd one will slip here and there, attention seeking on Facebook when you need to be minding your pickney, people that TRY their best to be funny when really they’re just not, they’re actually make me cringe and grate my nerves instead, or simply people who clearly have the wrong foundation on and go out with grey faces looking like Michael jackson, why haven’t your friends dragged you to MAC to get colour matched?!?! or are you being heavy handed with the setting powder?!?! I don’t get it.

See these are the things I am trying not to get involved with but sometimes it just has to be said…Bitch Rant over…

Instead I’m trying to focus on the positive. I have a new mantra

thoughts become things

I got it from The Secret (which i actually need to finish). So thinking positive will lead to  positive outcomes.

Speaking of positivity, something that makes me happy! Soca Music!! I cannot keep still, I’m listening to Martin Jay’s Episode 2 of The Caribbean Affair of of Socavision.com and anyone who knows me KNOWS how much I love Soca. Right now its tunes that are a few years old that I haven’t heard in a while “I’m a Sooooooca Warrior”. Thank God for the Internet and his passion to keep Soca alive, as I for sure would be LOST if i didn’t have his show to listen to every week. I’ve grown up on it and I want Jae to grow up on it to, Marts voice is like home and a part of me…especially as I don’t go to many Soca raves anymore…I never know when they’re on…can someone bring back Colours?!?

Not happy with the take over of Choice fm though, all im saying is  Capital xtra aint getting me as a listener, I turned on my radio that Friday or Saturday morning, whatever day it was and heard NOISE from the speakers, two songs in, it was the same noise, signs of the changes to come, it weren’t for me, radio turned off…Now i have to find a new station…

went off topic there didn’t I?…lol

I think it’s bed time but I like this new Shurwayne song *bubbles on bed*

Til next time Homie xxx

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